Stephen Colbert Celebrates Trump’s Remaining Debate

“Within the lead-up to the talk, the president’s advisers pleaded with him to be softer. Tender he can do. I’ve seen the person in tennis shorts.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“That’s proper, tonight we noticed an all new Trump. As an alternative of shouting baseless accusations, he whispered them.” — JIMMY FALLON

“The controversy tonight was not the ‘WrestleMania’ occasion most individuals had been anticipating. I believe perhaps someone swapped Trump’s Adderall out for Tylenol.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Donald Trump, by the best way, is the one president who will get marks for good habits. He’s like while you deliver a 2-year-old on a aircraft.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“For probably the most half, issues had been fairly civil in comparison with the primary debate, which was principally a U.F.C. combat on meth.” — JIMMY FALLON

“If the primary debate was sponsored by Pink Bull, this one was sponsored by NyQuil.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Tonight’s debate had six subjects: combating Covid-19, nationwide safety, American households, race in America, local weather change and whether or not Rudy Giuliani was truly tucking in his shirt.” — JIMMY FALLON

“And Individuals have a troublesome option to make now: Do they vote for Joe Biden on Nov. 3? Or do they vote for him early, as a result of the last word mute button is in your fingers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“On Tuesday, Trump acquired offended and lower his interview with Lesley Stahl brief. At the moment, he launched the complete interview himself — ‘the dictator’s lower,’ if you’ll.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“With lower than two weeks till the election, because the pandemic rages uncontrolled and thousands and thousands of Individuals endure the ache of loss and financial hardship, the president of the US has apparently determined to make his closing message ‘The TV girl was very imply to me.’” — SETH MEYERS

“He’s probably the most highly effective man on this planet and he spends his time making bootleg episodes of ’60 Minutes.’” — JIMMY FALLON

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